In all neighborhoods, large or small,
There is someone who sees all.
Watching always, day or night.
Never skips a scene or misses a sight.
She walks her dog all through the streets.
And in your garbage, she finds treats!
Everything that you throw out,
She’ll recover and file, have no doubt.
Finding an envelope from Unemployment
Only adds to her enjoyment!
“Hah! I knew that lazy lump,
Would get fired from the dump!”
And the old clothes that you threw away?
Will be on her back on another day.
“Huh!” she mumbles, “I could’ve guessed.
She got too fat, the way she dressed!”
She seems to thrive on tragedy.
Not hers, of course, just you and me.
She can tell you, don’t you know
Who got pregnant before they show!
Mad at Hubby? Are you sure?
She’ll be near your window on her tour.
And when your anger runs it course,
She’ll announce to all, your divorce!
God help the one who is a stranger!
She’ll call 911 and scream out “DANGER!”
It was your cousin who got lost.
You wonder how much his bail will cost?
And when she drives you up a wall
By staring in her crystal ball.
That new family, who just moved in?
She whispers, “Not married, Living in Sin!”
We all know these noxious shrews
And from them comes all the news.
Don’t be afraid and don’t be blue.
We all know it’s just not true.
She sees all and all she tells
Enhancing details with fishy smells.
“Mr. Jones has left his kids and mate!”
Truth is, he’s been dead since ’98.
She goes to church at least once a week.
Just for the tidbits there to seek.
"Did you see Bridget in the choir?"
"Do you know she's sleeping with the Friar?"
Why is it then, when her tongue rumbles
We strain to hear what she mumbles?
With bated breath and eyes that glisten,
We stand there and we surely LISTEN!
We strain our ears to hear all her guff.
It's always nasty, mean and rough.
Tales of misery, shame and adultery.
She's talking about someone that's not ME!
© By Swampetta (SWAMPETTA@aol.com)