An amorous aardvark is an amusing critter.
He sets the lady aardvark's heart a-twitter.
Good heavens above
In the game of love,
He should know that heíll never outwit her.

© Paul (

Antonio the amorous aardvark
Loved to hang out in the park.
A lady that he'd wine and dine
Turned out to be a porcupine.
Not all cats are grey in the dark!

© Swampetta (

The aardvark tries to be amorous,
But that snout keeps getting in the way,
And it isnít very glamorous,
To have dirty nails every day.

Ants and termites cause halitosis,
Making it hard for aardvarks to kiss.
The awful smell that fills their noses,
Convinces them that they canít do this.

They must hold their breath when making love,
And that doesnít leave much time for fun,
Nevertheless, when push comes to shove,
They slam into each other and run.

© RickMack (

My Aunt and Uncle once had a pesky aardvark in their yard,
They tried all sorts of deterrents to get rid of this card.

He was not opposed to any harsh treatment so it seemed,
His tiny black eyes gave forth a mischievous gleam.

He liked the grass clippings in this nice Florida setting,
And no one was interested in him for the petting.

I wish I could have seen him in all his glory,
But let me get on with the story.

He finally did leave for other adventures down the way,
No, it wasnít an alligator that made him leave that day.

It would happen that a battery that had been formally dead was
Recharged and hooked up to some current instead.

It was left in the yard under some clippings one night,
And somehow it made him change his location and disappear clean out of sight.

© Phyllis Ann (

"Aardvark, amorous" - first lovin' animal in the dictionary,
"Bear, amorous" - females attact, but still are hairy,
"Camel, amorous" - tall and thin, but you must be wary,
"Dog, amorous" - sires and pregnant dogs make pups you can carry.

"Ewe, amorous" - ranchers love 'em when they make lambs,
"Frog, amorous" - nobody really gives a d----.
"Grasshoppers, amorous" - fill the fields and strip 'em,
"Hog, amorous" - make piglets to grow and we eat 'em.

"I--- you finish it!

© Norma (

I, amorous....Grab the Viagra or get out of town! You, amorous...."Can you wait 'til I put the wash down?"

© Swampetta (

Click the links below for other poems and stories by the authors at Lara's Den.

Oh! To Be In April!

I Walk In tulips

A Room Under The Eaves

A Lovelorn Welshman

Grandma's Recipe: Rock Soup

Games Of Love

And.......for many others, click the index image.

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