I was looking in the gutter when I saw this little note,
So I picked it up and read it, and somebody had wrote;
"You'll never get to Heaven if you keep on looking down".
So I straightened up my shoulders; then I gave a little frown

For as I raised my head up, to look into the sky,
A dirty little birdie dropped a hot-shot in my eye.
It stung more than a little, but I struggled with my hurt
And I bravely kept on walking; then I stood in doggy dirt.

I slipped, and then I skidded, and I hit a rubbish bin.
I cried out for assistance, but alas, I still fell in,
And then a passing stranger, who had failed to see me skid
Thought the place looked too untidy, and replaced the dustbin lid.

So I sat there in the debris, and I thought ďNow hereís a lark,
Iím cold and wet and dirty, and Iím sitting in the dark.Ē
I couldnít get the lid off, but I bit my bottom lip,
As I huffed and puffed and struggled till I felt my trousers rip.

At last, distressed and thirsty, I just had to fall asleep,
And while I slept, the binmen took me to the refuse heap.
They thought I was a dummy, and they left me in a mess,
For they pinched my coat and trousers, and they caused me much distress.

Alone, so cold and naked, for all the world to mock.
I rummaged through the rubbish till I found this tatty frock
I hurried home for dinner, as the day was getting late,
But as I passed the school yard, I was stopped outside the gate.

The policeman, from a distance, (for he didnít like my stench),
Said he thought I was a pervert, and he brought me to the Bench.
"I know that Iíve been stupid, and Iíve looked above my station But I really
hope, Your Honour, youíll accept my explanation."

The Judge looked down upon me, and he said, ďA likely tale!
Youíre a lecherous transvestite, and Iím sending you to jail.Ē
So I wonít be going upwards in a heavenly ascent
Iíll be going down to prison, for the Judge thinks I am bent.

Thomas Vaughan Jones (TVaughanJones@aol.com)

Watch these pages for more poems by Tom.
In the meantime, click the links below for
poems and stories by our other authors.

Mask Of Islam

Old Woman On A Park Bench

Cornfield Maze

The Summer Storm




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