Jim woke up and looked out his window. It sure did bother him when he saw all that corn growing and knew that except of a couple of bushels he could sell at the roadside stand, he was stuck with it.
He had been talking to some of the other guys at the Barn Door Saloon last night and they had all seemed to be in the same pickle. One of them, Grady, had told them about his cousins who had plowed a maze into the cornfield and then charged tourists $20 to wander through it. It worked like a charm! They had gotten a couple of Port-A-Potties to stick in the field and had started selling things like lemonade and donuts. The city people were all lining up to get lost in a corn field.
Jim thought about it for about a minute and decided that this was the way to get out from under! He was going to leave his wife, Effie Lou, a note telling her that he had solved all their problems . "Nnnyyaaahhh." He thought, "She'll only tell me I'm crazy for listening to any stories that I hear down at the saloon. I'm just going to surprise her. He made himself a couple of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and took 3 cans of generic beer to pack in the cooler, and off he went! The tractor started right up and he headed out into the cornfield.
When Effie Lou got home around 7PM and didn't see either Jim or the tractor, she huffed "Damn Fool is down at the gin mill again!" By midnight, she was so fired up that she started to pack up her suitcases. "That's IT! I wonder how long it's gonna take him to figure out that I don't live here anymore? I'm going to Canada to live with my sister. She never liked Jim anyway so she'll sure give me space in her house." Effie Lou jumped into her Dodge Shadow and headed North.
The bank foreclosed on the farm a couple of years ago and the John Deere people went nuts trying to repo the tractor. Never did find it or Jim either, for that matter.
There's been a lot of stories told about all sorts of funny 'crop circles' showing up in peoples fields. Talk of space aliens and secret government agencies doing it.
Effie Lou got her divorce in Tiajuana and met her new husband there. They live in Sasketchawan and are very happy. She never talks about Jim.
© Swampetta (SWAMPETTA@aol.com)
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