On the first day of Christmas,
My true love sent to me..
A pear tree.-----NOPE! No Partridge in it!
Partridges were quarantined, Bird flu, ya know?


On the second day of Christmas
My true love sent to me..
A book titled, "Natural Cures THEY don't want you to know about."
And some herbal tea to build up the immune system.
Forget the turtle doves this year! ( and real turtles carry salmonella.)


On the third day of Christmas
My true love sent to me..
A box of Kleenex, bottle of Tylenol and a jar of Vapo-rub.
French Hens are completely out of the question!


On the fourth day of Christmas
My true love sent to me...
A Cell phone with a charger and a headset and a calling card.
Four Calling Birds??? What? Are you NUTS?!


On the fifth day of Christmas
My true love sent to me..
Five Golden Rings!....
From a catalog that says they cure arthritis.


On the sixth day of Christmas
My true love sent to me...
Six Rubber Duckies. There's no geese around here!
Shipped 'em all back to Canada!


On the seventh day of Christmas
My true love sent to me...
Seven little ceramic Swan nut holders.
Like you get on the table at a wedding reception?
(Should that be making me nervous?)


On the eighth day of Christmas
My true love sent to me...
Eight cases of Dairy products.
Skim milk, margarine, fat-free cream and Kool Whip.
( I was looking forward to Milk Maids...)


On the ninth day of Christmas
My true love sent to me...
Nine Ladies Cleaning! Some outfit called "Rent-an-Illegal".
None of them were dancing but the bathroom looks great!


On the tenth day of Christmas
My true love sent to me..
Ten Guys leaping around with Radon Detectors and smoke alarms.
(One of them wearing Hazmat gear and checking the windowsills
for Pigeon Poop.)


On the eleventh day of Christmas
My true love sent to me..
Eleven Plumbers Piping.. I need a new sewer line because
That Hazmat guy found Pigeon Poop!


On the twelfth day of Christmas
My true love sent to me...
Twelve Drummers drumming! Heavy metal Rock band.
And it is so crowded and noisy in here I will
Probably get evicted by New Years!


So I wish the best to all of you
And don't forget your Tamiflu!
(OH CRAP!!! One of the drummers tripped on a rubber ducky
and knocked over the pear tree! Bird flu is starting to
Look like a good idea,)





 

 

By Swampetta (SWAMPETTA@aol.com)

Original 'toon by Swampetta (SWAMPETTA@aol.com)




 

 


 






 




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Not Just Any Gift

If I Were A Queen

Christmas Past

White

Ode To 2004

The Best Christmas

Danny's Pony

My Views

Captain Of My Ship



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The featured image is a Swampetta Original 'toon.