Grandma's name was Francesca
I was destined to have her name
But Mama named me Frances
Upon her I place all the blame.


Francesca is earthy and torrid
Feisty, fiery and full of romance
Frances is plain and simple
She never had a chance.


Francesca would tour the world
Finding adventure wherever she went
Frances stayed home and pouted
And could barely pay the rent.


If Mama had named me Francesca
I'd be a fabulous celebrity
But Mama named me plain Frances
How wonderful can that be?


Call me Frances and I'll answer
Call me Fran and I'll reply
Call me Frannie and I'll giggle
But Francesca evokes a sigh.


Some days I'm just plain Frances
But deep down in my heart
I'm really Fabulous Francesca
Acting out a sultry part.