Normal, standard, par for the course, mediocre or just plain dang run of the mill was how the panel decided to classify the wash tub full of writings. There were stories, poems, haiku, tanka, senyru, pure roo and some gibberish in four or five different unintelligible forms. Yep they, being the great omnificent high muckety mucks, had decided on a contest with a thousand dollar first prize. The genre was open with a limit of one sheet of paper, front and back if needed.

Of course all of the greater than great writers, scribblers, coders and bunglers all got busy on their masterpiece, each knowing they were head and shoulders above the rest and definitely would win the prize. Around the clock they wrote, drew, scribbled, ciphered, deciphered and just plain dang thunk.

One incessant pseudowriter wrote their masterpiece starting and writing around the perimeter of the page and slowly coming into the center with the end.

Being a devious sort I planted four microphones in the room where all of the entries were placed along with three video cameras. The judging started with the idea of selecting the top ten percent, then take that ten percent and keep ten percent. The entry deadline was 31 December at 11:59:59 PM GMT. The judging began the next morning.

On the first day one judge got so mad at another she pushed him over in his chair and when he hit the floor she sat on him until he conceded one entry.

One nice 75 year old sexy looking grandma put Drano in the coffee pot which sent four to the hospital, and so it went until they got to the third cut on April 30th, when a unanimous agreement was reached. All entries were neither ordinary nor unordinary, none stood out, none rose above the other, and they all stunk to high heaven!

Then a retired school teacher came up with a great idea. They took the number of entrants, 846 of them, then found an 846 better writing book. They bought two and sent each entrant two pages from the book. They no longer write, type or take notes, they only sign and memorize for the writings were that bad. Oh, each entrant was sent the page as a first place winner from, ah heck you guess.