The little park in town was always overlooked at Christmastime. Then one year the mayor looked out of his window and saw how plain and almost desolate it looked compared to the bright decorations in the streets around it. "Hhhmmmm. I think we need to beautify that little park. Let me call a council meeting." And he did.........
The councilmen and women...(and one of the women who insisted on being called "Councilperson".) discussed what should be done to make the park look more festive.
"Let's have a nativity scene right in the middle of the park. We can get the churches to kick in a few bucks for it."
A week later there was a nativity scene complete with live camels and donkeys and sheep. The Presbyterians had volunteered to feed and clean up after the livestock that had been obtained by the Baptists. The Catholics had sent some people dressed as the Three Kings and shepherds and Father John and Sister Teresa were dressed up as Mary and Joseph. The O'Herlihy family let the newest baby fill the role of the Baby Jesus. Little Timmy O'Herlihy was 3 months old but he looked like a newborn because he was a tiny thing. His 12 brothers and 5 sisters all were kind of scrawny too. They didn't have a lot of food to split among them all. Mom O'Herlihy liked the idea that he would at least get his bottle and a clean diaper when he needed it.
One of the Lutheran Ladies was to be in charge of baby care. She was dressed as an angel.
The next thing you know....the TV stations and newspaper people showed up to put it on film. It looked lovely!
The day after the news people left, the lawyers showed up.
Little Timmy was taken to a foster home because someone complained that he was being neglected. (In fact, Timmy had never been so warm, dry and well fed in his short life!)
The lawyers for PETA were next. People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals complained that the camels were chilly and the donkeys weren't getting enough exercise.
Some of the shepherds were discovered to be illegal aliens and were deported back to Mexico. (They were from Guatemala but that didn't seem to be important enough to warrant another airline ticket).
Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson held a protest march because there was only one of the Three Kings who was African-American. They felt that at least TWO should be much darker skinned than they were. Eric Lundsblad was of Norwegian descent and he was so upset by being called "Honkey Red Neck" he walked off and went to Oslo to stay with relatives.
The Three Kings were replaced by Snoop Dogg and Ice-T and some guy called "Bigg E. Fatass" they sang Rap Carols and referred to Sister Teresa as 'Da Baby Mama' And spread rumors that her and Father John were doing the 'Horizontal Mambo' behind the stable.
Next came Rabbi Mort Farber to protest the fact that there was no Menorah in the park. He and his congregation were picketing with signs that said "Jesus was a Jew, Deal with it!"
Well....that brought the "Jews for Jesus" out in busloads.
It was truly spectacular the damage that can be wrought with nothing but poster board on strips of lath when applied to someone's head!
The Buddhists meditated over it.
The Muslims spread the prayer rugs and bowed to Mecca.
The Atheists went shopping for "Season's Greetings" cards.
The mayor and councilperson ran to Wichita where he opened a "Previously Owned" car lot and she became an 'Exotic Dancer'.
Next year there will be a memorial service in the park.
© By Swampetta (SWAMPETTA@aol.com)