By Sharon (ByGolly25@aol.com)
Santa got a little tipsy
From sipping on Christmas cheer
So he depended upon directions
From each of his reindeer
They knew just where to take him
And landed atop each roof
Even though Santa was drunk
From drinking all that proof
Santa stumbled out of the sleigh
And managed to bring the loot
But somehow lost his gloves
And his left foot Santa boot
One child awoke on Christmas
And found a boot under the tree
Instead of the bike he wished for
And cried out in misery
Another child found the gloves
Fretted that Santa would be cold
But Santa was warmed by the booze
If the truth should be told
Somehow Christmas survived
Santa was delivered home safely
But the next day he had a hangover
And wept "oh woe is me"
He vowed he would stay sober
Forever the rest of his life
"I'll make sure of that"
Said Mrs. Claus his wife
She made her yearly bourbon balls
The rest of the day she took some falls
Too many she ate
Poor tipsy Kate
Stumbled through her home's halls
Who Puts the Star on the Tree?
"Come on Larry, put the star on top."
"Why do you always ask me to do it.? Why not ask Sandy?"
"Because Sandy can't reach it. You are as tall as the tree."
"Not fair! I didn't ask to be so tall."
"Waaaaaa!" he cried.
"I'm lost. This shopping mall is so crowded and big."
"Well, aren't you a bit to old to be crying?"
"But I'm lost."
"Ok, you sit right here and we will page someone to come get you."
"Attention shoppers. We have a lost person in the office. He's about five foot eleven, gray hair, brown eyes. He says his name is Ralph."
"Oh dear! that sounds like my husband. He always seems to get lost when following some pretty young clerk around the store."
"Please shoppers. If you are missing a Ralph, come to the office quickly. He keeps pinching one of our clerk's in the behind."
© By Sharon (ByGolly25@aol.com)
The True Meaning of Christmas
Where Is He?
A Heartfelt Christmas
The Hidden Retreat
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