A man's shoe
A huge ball of string
A sticky wad of chewing gum on the sidewalk in front of the building
A battered pickup truck abandoned across the road
It was purely coincidental. They were sure of this. Sixty-three people passed by on the sidewalk that morning, chewing gm. Marta Tschanz was practicing her calisthenics in the front parlor. She had not put in her contact lenses yet, and did not realize that the cat had pulled the curtains off the front window, again. As usual, she did her calisthenics, dishabille, before her morning ablutions. Sixty-three people spit out their gum, in exactly the same place, in front of Marta Tschanz’ parlor window. It was later reported that they had run in terror.
The sixty-fourth person to pass that morning, Miguel de Jesus, also ran in terror. Marta Tschanz was a rather frightening person. Miguel de Jesus had had the misfortune to step in the rather large and sticky wad of chewing gum on the sidewalk in front of Marta Tschanz’ parlor window. His shoe became stuck in the chewing gum. He left it there, and ran as fast as he was able.
The new Ripley’s Believe It Or Else Museum was scheduled to open soon in nearby Achkinkshackey. Bob Clark was driving down High Street (Rte 17) toward Achkinkshackey. He was driving a flat-bed trailer. On the trailer, firmly secured by chains, was the World’s Largest Ball of String.
He braked suddenly, and swerved at the intersection. Running across the street in throes of terror was Miguel de Jesus. Fortunately, Bob Clark was able to stop the flatbed in time. Unfortunately, the World’s Largest Ball of String broke loose. It was not as well secured as it might have been. The World’s Largest Ball of String rolled down the sidewalk in front of Marta Tschanz’s parlor. Marta was not in the parlor to see this. Even if she had been wearing her contact lenses, she had finished her calisthenics, and was in the shower.
The World’s Largest Ball of String hit the shoe of Miguel de Jesus which was firmly mired in the accumulated sticky wad of gum (which might possibly have qualified as The World’s Largest Sticky Wad of Gum). The World’s Largest Ball of String bounced into the air, landing on, and bouncing back off a pickup truck being driven up the street by Don Guiseppe Macchiavelli.
Don Guiseppe Macchiavelli was an itinerant con artist. He had just bilked Mrs. Pettigrew out of her Social Security check, and was on the way to the bank to cash it. When the World’s Largest Ball of String bounced off the hood of his pickup truck, just down the street from the world’s largest sticky wad of chewing gum, on the sidewalk in front of Marta Tschanz’s parlor, Don Guiseppe Machiavelli abandoned the batter pickup truck. He was wanted by the police.
Thus it was, when Inspector Risueño walked down the street to answer Mrs. Pettigrew’s call, that the noticed a man’s shoe, a huge ball of string, a sticky wad of chewing gum on the sidewalk in front of the building, and a battered pickup truck abandoned across the road. He thought nothing of it. It was an unusual neighborhood. He picked up Mrs. Pettigrew’s Social Security check from the middle of the road. “Excuse me, Ms. Tschanz”, he said to Marta Tschanz as she exited her building on the way to work. “Did you drop this?” He continued on to Mrs. Pettigrew’s house, but, alas, he was unable to help her.
© By Paul (AHikingDude@aol.com)