Santa, dear Santa....Now tell me the truth,
You know that you left reindeer poop on the roof.
Comes the Spring and it will dribble onto the siding,
Once it thaws, it surely comes out of hiding.

We left you some crackers and a shot of old Jack.
And under the tree we found some cat yack.
Our son, Bubba Junior asked for a truck.
You left him a note that said, “Shit Out of Luck!”

He did like that gift of a paint-ball gun.
Went out New Year’s Eve to have him some fun.
Him and his friends had quite a caper.
You’ll find out about it on the front page of the paper.

The Twins sure did thank you for the Music CD’s
But nothing to play them, maybe next year? Please?
My wife said that she just loved the fancy pink necklace.
It sure brings out all those wrinkly lines in her face.

And what were you thinking with the dolls for Rashamma?
Inside of a month, she’ll be a baby’s Momma!
We know she’s a bit young, only thirteen.
And the baby’s Daddy? He’s never been seen.

And you left me, what I needed, my perfect plan.
A 55 gallon, heavy duty unbreakable garbage can!
It went right into use, you know it sure did.
Instead of a sled, the kids are using the lid.

Now, if you could, something else for my mob?
Do you think that you could find me a job?
You know I trust you, you can be Judge and Jury.
Try to get me that job in the brewery?

Christmas is over and it's a new year,
We have done all we can to keep it right here.
The bathtub is leaking and the front porch is tottery.
And I can't fix it until I win the lottery.

One other thing will increase our enjoyment.
If you can, make them extend my unemployment?
I don't want to yell, scream, snort and holler.
Please, my dear Santa, lend me a dollar?


© By Swampetta (



Watch these pages for more 'toons and poems by Swampetta.
In the meantime, click the links below for other poems and stories by the authors at Lara's Den.

Scrapbooking: Summer Vacation

Botox Bath

Man's Best Friend

January 2005

A Walk Through Falling Snow

A Cozy Nook

Frazier's Lake

Cockeyed Weathervane

And.......for many others, click the index image.

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The featured 'toon is a Swampetta original.